


Life and Choices

by wellthatlookslikefun



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, i'm sorry liam i love you, liam is only in this for 2 seconds, rated teen for lots of swearing and a bit of smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 14:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4482341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthatlookslikefun/pseuds/wellthatlookslikefun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Three hours later, Zayn is questioning both his life and his choices as he brushes ash out of his hair for the second time in as many days.</p>
<p>“You know,” Louis starts, poking delicately at the melted puddle that used to be his cauldron, “I think I’m getting better.” He looks up at Zayn with a faux-innocent look. Zayn just manages to hold back his laughter at Louis’ smudged face and his bright, wide-eyed expression. Louis had very bright eyes, Zayn notices."</p>
<p>Or the one where Zayn somehow starts tutoring Louis in potions and Niall accidentally hits Zayn with an experimental spell that messes things up for a while but then makes everything better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life and Choices

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightwideopen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightwideopen/gifts).



> Written for nightwideopen for the zouis fic exchange! I combined two of her prompts which were: "au where your eyes change color according to what you're feeling!!! red can be LOVE???" and "anything in harry potter verse." I think I did all right with those, and I hope you like it!
> 
> Warning for a lot of f-bombs and the word bro and excessive potion making.

Sometimes, Zayn wonders how he made it through over six years at Hogwarts without sustaining any major personal injury. As wonderful as Hogwarts is, it does have a reputation of being dangerous simply by housing thousands of untrained wizards and witches. Most of the accidents at Hogwarts are due to just simple mistakes (or at least that’s how it’s been since Harry Potter defeated You-Know-Who and Hogwarts stopped being the home to yearly life or death situations). But sometimes, sometimes the accidents are due to stupid dicks who don’t understand simple fucking instructions-

“Zayn, you’re mumblin’ and glarin’ again.”

Startled, Zayn looks up from where he’s stirring his Draught of Living Death counterclockwise 7 times. Through the steam, Niall cocks an eyebrow. Behind Niall, Professor Watson steps out of the classroom door

 “What?” Zayn protests, “I’m not doing anything.”

Niall just shrugs, not bothered that his blue tie is slowly burning in the cauldron fire. “Might wanna keep an eye on your potion instead of starting at the Gryffindors.”

Cursing, Zayn turns his fire down in an attempt to stop the potion from boiling over. Just as he saves his cauldron from melting, he hears a commotion from the other side of the room. The side that he definitely wasn’t glaring at earlier, Niall’s totally making it up.

“Louis, what the hell, that’s not-“ Liam Payne seems to be shouting as he unsuccessfully tries to grab ingredients out of Louis Tomlinson’s hands.

Swatting him away, Tomlinson drops into his cauldron something leafy. “Listen Payno, we’re not gonna do this the book’s way, we’re doing it the Tommo way.”

Payne just gasps, shoving at Tomlinson until he can get to the cauldron. “Louis, you just added elder leaves! That’s not even on the ingredient list!”

Giving up all pretenses, Zayn runs across the classroom, shouting “Tomlinson you fucking idiot do you even realize what you’ve done?” Zayn starts to dig through the pile of ingredients at the Gryffindors’ station, hoping that Tomlinson wasn’t a total nut and kept some pine needles on hand. Luckily, Zayn finds three needles and drops them in Tomlinson’s cauldron. Zayn just hopes it will be enough.

Tomlinson shoves at Zayn, sending him toppling backwards into the next table over. “Get the hell away from my potion, Malik,” Tomlinson says coldly. “I don’t need you mucking it up.”

“Lou-“ Payne starts, touching Tomlinson’s shoulder. Tomlinson immediately shrugs out of his grip.

“Mucking it up?” Zayn throws his hands up as he rights himself. “You’ve already done just fine yourself! If I hadn’t added those pine needles-“

“The fucking pine needles had ruined the whole damn thing!” Tomlinson interrupts. “I knew exactly what I was doing. I don’t need you jumping down my throat every time I decide to go against instructions! Just because you’re a Ravenclaw doesn’t mean you know everything, arsehole.” He uncrosses his arms and drops his hand to the wand sitting on the tabletop.

“Guys, this really isn’t-“ Payne tries again.

Zayn shoves his hand into his pocket, getting a hold on his wand. “You point that thing at me and-“

Tomlinson rolls his eyes, “And what, you’ll tell me not to? I’m not scared of you, Mailk.” Still, Tomlinson moves his hand off his wand.

Relaxing, Zayn turns to walk back to his cauldron which has, finally, stopped boiling. Niall’s whistling some tune as he stirs his potion, totally oblivious to Zayn and Tomlinson.

“Oh, by the way Malik, those weren’t pine needles,” Tomlinson calls after him faux-casually.

Spinning around, Zayn’s eyes widen as he sees the potion starts to spit sparks. Waving at Tomlinson and Payne, Zayn shouts “GET THE FUCK DOWN!” and then the cauldron explodes.

*

“I don’t think it looks that bad.” Harry muses as he investigates Zayn’s hair in the boy’s bathroom, later that afternoon.

Zayn glares at Harry’s reflection in the mirror. “I’m missing all the hair on my left side, it looks fucking horrid.”

Harry just shrugs. “I like it. I’d keep my hair that way if it was me.”

Zayn’s eyes narrow. “You haven’t cut your hair in seven months and before that you wore scarves in it every day. Multi-colored magical scarves.”

“What are you trying to say, Zayn?” Harry asks, his voice sounding honestly curious. Zayn just shakes his head, turning back to the mirror and delicately patting the left side of his head.

“You know,” Harry muses, “We’re really lucky that Professor Watson damped the cauldron explosion just in time. Imagine if you had lost all your hair,” Harry chuckles, poking Zayn in the side. Zayn tries to fight him off but somehow he ends up in one of Harry’s patented Hufflepuff hugs. Sighing, Zayn cuddles in tighter because he’s missing the left side of his hair, okay, he definitely deserves some Hufflepuff love.

Twenty minutes later, Harry sticks his wand back in his pocket and finally allows Zayn to turn and look in the mirror.

“What do you think?” Harry asks, running a hand through his own (ridiculously long) hair.

Zayn just stares at himself in the mirror. Now the right side of his head matches his left, with all the hair shaved off. But Harry left all the length on the top so it flops from side to side as Zayn turns his head.

“It actually looks good,” Zayn murmurs, touching the side of his head that had been burned.

Harry shrugs and ducks to hide his blush at the praise. “S’called an undercut, I think. My mate at home did that to his hair this summer.”

Turning, Zayn tugs Harry into another quick hug. “Thanks, mate, it really helps make this day a bit better.”

Harry just ducks the compliment, like usual. After a few moments, he pulls out of Zayn’s arms and starts to gather his bag. Zayn follows his lead.

“You wanna go smoke with me and Niall?” Zayn asks as he pulls his bag closed.

“Sorry mate, I can’t,” Harry mumbles. “I promised Li that I’d go play Quidditch with him.”

Zayn stares at Harry for a long moment. Harry stares back happily.

“Haz... You can’t stay up on a broom for more than three minutes straight. I know because Niall and I timed you last summer.”

Harry just shrugs as they push their way out of the bathroom. “I’ll just fly close to the ground.”

*

“Like, his brain doesn’t even work. How the hell did he even make it into N.E.W.T. potions?”

Niall hums, turning his head with effort to look at Zayn. “Harry says that he studies a lot.”

“Bullshit,” Zayn says. “There’s no way he acts like that in class and then studies enough to get into N.E.W.T. level.”

Niall just shrugs, taking the joint when Zayn passes it. “He’s not a Ravenclaw, mate.”

“Thank god for that,” Zayn mumbles, staring out at the grounds. It’s just starting to get dark, the sun peaking over the top of the Forbidden Forest. A few younger years are lying out by the lake, trying to make the most of the late September warmth. Zayn envied them. They barely had any homework, they weren’t trying to figure out their future, and they didn’t have to put up with stuck up little shits with dung for brains who-

“Zayn,” Niall pokes his side. “Zaaaaaynnnnnn.”

“Yeah?” Zayn shifts in his seat so he can see Niall’s face, which is lit up in full grin, a slightly crazed look in his eye. That look always made him nervous. That was Niall’s idea face.

“Wanna show you somethin’.” Niall fidgets, pulling his wand out of his pocket carefully.

Zayn starts shaking his head. “I’m not letting you transfigure my ears again. They were massive for a whole week, bro.”

Niall laughs. “Yeah, but you could hear thoughts!”

“Yeah, of animals!” Despite his tone, he’s smiling at Niall. He can never get upset with Niall, especially when he’s high. “Go on, what do you wanna show me?”

“You know how it’s my goal to figure out Har-everyone’s favorite foods?” Niall goes red, blushing over his slip. Zayn does what any good best friend would do and ignores it.

“Like, favorite food at Hogwarts? Or in general?” Zayn asks, ever the Ravenclaw, even when high.

Niall hums, thinking. “Probably both, I think. Anyway, I think I’ve invented this spell that changes a person’s hair color when they’re eating their favorite food.” Niall looks up at Zayn, hopeful and so proud of himself.

Zayn mulls it over. “I like it. It doesn’t hurt a person and it gets you what you want...” Niall’s nodding along, because of course he’s thought of all of that already. “It’d work as long as the person isn’t pissed at you casting it on them.”

“I’ll just ask them first,” Niall says. “Most people would say yes.”

Zayn nods, sitting up a bit so he can see all of Niall’s face as the sun goes down and throws shadows everywhere. “What’s the spell?”

Niall lifts his arm and starts twirling his wand in slow circles. Carefully, he says “Vide sensus.”

Nothing happens.

“Niall, did it work?” Zayn turns to look Niall in the eyes. “I mean obviously I’d need to be eating my favorite food but-“

“Zayn,” Niall whispers, his eyes flashing. “Your eyes just turned pink.”

“Like, the color?” Zayn laughs, “Good joke bro.”

Niall shakes his head, his eyes going gold. “Not a joke- Zayn?” Niall freezes as Zayn reaches for his face.

“Your eyes, they were gold. Now they’re flashing between colors…” Zayn cuts himself off as Niall’s eyes settle into a bright white. “Shit, bro, they’re white now.”

Niall shakes Zayn off, standing up. “Well we’re not gonna figure out what the hell happened so I say we grab some chicken and then go see Professor Corden.”

Zayn laughs. “You just want me to eat chicken to see if my hair will change color. Leave it alone, it’s been through enough today.”

Niall shrugs, holding the common room door open for Zayn. “Worth a shot.”

*

Professor Corden laughs so hard he has to sit down when Niall and Zayn explain what happened. Niall joins in a few seconds later, after he gets a look at Zayn’s grumpy face. It’s possible that Niall is still a little high.

“I’m sorry boys,” Professor Corden wheezes out. “It’s just that the spell you cast is so hard that even Ministry officials have issues with it and you,” he points at Niall, “did it on accident!”

Niall stops laughing, his eyes going bright white again. “It’s that hard?” Niall turns to look at Zayn, who just shrugs, still kind of annoyed.

“Please tell me there’s a way to make it stop,” Zayn grumbles, looking at Professor Corden.

Professor Corden composes himself, leaning back in his chair. “There is, but it’s a potion not a counter-spell.”

“So?” Niall asks, “Zayn’s an ace potion maker, he can get it done-“ He’s cut short by Professor Corden shaking his head.

“Unfortunately, the potion takes a month, I think, to brew, and there’s a lot of restricted ingredients that only Professor Watson would be allowed to buy. I can ask her to brew it, if you would like?”

Zayn tries to run his hands through his hair before remember that there isn’t any on the sides anymore. “Yeah, I would really appreciate it, thanks,” he sighs, refusing to look at Niall so he can’t tell how annoyed Zayn is.

“However,” Professor Corden sits up, a similar manic look in his eyes to what Niall had earlier, “this is an amazing opportunity! No one has been able to get a complete list of what colors mean what emotion because usually the spell only takes effect on one person. But the two of you can see each other’s eyes and can cross reference emotions!”

Niall has gotten visibly more and more excited as Professor Corden talks. Nothing gets him going like experimental spells and research.

“I’ve figured one out already,” Zayn says, laughing internally as both Niall and Professor Corden whip around to look at him. “Gold eyes either means you’re really happy or so excited you’re gonna piss your pants.” Zayn laughs a little, gesturing at Niall, whose eyes haven’t stopped burning gold since he found out he accidentally cast an advanced spell.

Professor Corden bursts out laughing again as Niall desperately tries to transfigure a picture into a mirror. “I look sick, mate!” Niall exclaims, letting the mirror drop and break before vanishing the pieces.

Zayn shook his head fondly, catching Niall as he came in for a hug. Niall was insane, but he was also the best thing that had ever happened to him.

*

They show Harry at breakfast the next day, somewhat by surprise. Harry steals some of Niall’s breakfast after ten minutes of trying and Niall’s eyes flash red before settling back into gold, surprising Harry enough to drop the toast he had taken as his prize.

“Niall,” Harry starts, his tone careful, “I don’t know how to break this to you but-“

“Don’t worry, Haz,” Niall pats Harry on the back with his hand not currently covered in syrup. “Me n’ Zayn have a bit of a situation but it’s an easy fix.”

“Waiting a month isn’t an easy fix,” Zayn grumbles. Harry freezes as Zayn’s eyes, presumably, flash a different color.

Shaking his head, Harry nudges Niall to get his attention away from building a bacon tower. “What do the colors mean?”

Niall shrugs, eyes still shining gold. “We dunno yet. I’m assuming that each color corresponds to an emotion we’re feeling but we need to figure out what color means what. Professor Corden asked us to do that, actually.”

Zayn snorts. “He didn’t ask us to, you jumped all over his offer of extra credit.” He pokes Niall’s bacon tower over in retaliation to Niall’s laid back attitude about this whole situation. Niall just laughs.

Harry hums, looking at Niall as his eyebrows furrow into his thinking face. “So, every time your eyes flash a different color it’s a different emotion?” Zayn grunts in agreement as Niall nods. “So,” Harry continues, “you just need to write down what you’re feeling whenever your eyes change color.” Harry smiles at both of them, like he’s solved all of the world’s problems.

Zayn catches Niall’s gaze out of the corner of his eye and laughs quietly at the utterly fond face Niall is making over Harry. Zayn watches as Niall pulls himself together and pokes Harry with a piece of bacon.

“The only issue is, mate, we don’t know when our eyes change color.”

Zayn nods, adding “Yeah, we can let each other know when it changes but we have no idea ourselves.”

Harry hums again, absently steals Niall’s bacon and takes a bite. “I’ll just give you a signal, then, whenever your eyes flash.”

“Sure Haz,” Niall smiles, eyes shining bright red for a split second. “Sounds good.”

*

Using Harry’s system, Niall and Zayn determine some basic emotions over the rest of the week. Niall’s default setting, gold, seems to indicate happiness. The brighter the gold, the happier Niall is at any given moment. They discover that white means shock and orange means anger after Harry sneaks up on Zayn one morning and dumps ink all over his arm.

“It was an accident!” Harry yells, running away as Zayn shoots hexes at his back.

“You got magical ink on my tattoo! It’s all wobbly now!” Zayn shouts back, catching Harry with a Hiccupping Hex. Niall only gives Harry the counter-curse after Harry swears to never steal his bacon again.

Niall, surprisingly, discovers sadness. Zayn runs into him in the common room, where Niall is sitting by the fire and reading a book. Looking up, Niall’s bright blue eyes meet Zayn’s.

“Babe, are you all right?” Zayn asks, his hand coming to rest on Niall’s shoulder.

Niall nods, surreptitiously wiping at his face. “Yeah, mate, just reading.”

Zayn pokes at Niall’s shoulder a bit. “Doesn’t look like just reading from here.”

Niall sighs, turning into Zayn just as he pulls Niall into a hug. “It’s a book about the war on You-Know-Who. I just got to the bit about everyone who died in the fight and it’s all...”

“Horribly sad?” Zayn asks, running a hand through Niall’s hair. Niall nods, not saying anything as they cuddle up.

Sometime later, Zayn laughs. “Well, at least we know blue means sad now.” Niall’s chuckle that follows isn’t as loud as normal, but it isn’t fake and that’s all that matters.

By virtue of being in 7th years in classes, they uncover that it means they’re confused when their eyes start flashing colors too fast to distinguish. Similarly, they learn that when they’re hungry whatever color they’re feeling becomes much more neon and that when they’re tired the colors become more muted.

So really, by the end of the week, Zayn’s feeling confident that he’s got the whole emotional eye thing under control. Of course, that’s when everything goes to hell.

*

In his defense, Zayn wasn’t usually in the habit of walking in on random classrooms on his way down to the Great Hall for dinner. However this classroom was both lit up and housing some odd noises, so Zayn pushes the door open to see what’s happening.

“What the hell, Malik, you’ve fucked it all up.”

Louis Tomlinson. Of course.

“No I didn’t, if you were working on it it’s probably already fucked up,” Zayn shoots back before actually taking in the scene in front of him. Louis’s leaning over a cauldron that’s spitting green sparks every couple of seconds.

Wait, it’s Louis Tomlinson with a potion cauldron in front of him. What the hell is happening here?

“Oh haha,” Louis rolls his eyes, “you’re just hilarious Malik. Do fuck off now, thanks.” Louis glares at Zayn sharply before stirring his potion carefully. Zayn is about to do just that when the Ravenclaw in him takes over.

“Are you making that healing potion we did last class?” He asks, stepping closer to try to get a good look into Louis’ cauldron. “Because it’s supposed to give off blue sparks, not green.”

Louis lets out a wordless roar of frustration, turning back to Zayn. “I fucking know that, Malik, why the fuck do you think I’m brewing it again?” Grumbling under his breath, Louis turns his back on Zayn.

“Would you like me to help?” Zayn offers before he can help himself. Louis slowly turns and just stares at Zayn like he can’t quite believe that sentence came out of Zayn’s mouth. Zayn can’t quite believe it, either.

Shrugging, Zayn turns away. “Whatever, bro, just trying to help.” He’s got his hand on the door before he hears Louis half whisper “wait.”

Turning back around, Zayn raises an eyebrow at Louis.

“I do need help, with potions I mean,” Louis mumbles, not meeting Zayn’s eyes. “I need to get this right.”

“Why is it so important to you?” Zayn can’t help from asking.

Louis shrugs, looking up at Zayn. “It’s ‘cause I need to pass potions to become an auror.”

Zayn snorts a bit. “All Gryffindors want to be aurors, but I don’t see all of them trying to perfect a potion.”

Louis, to his surprise, laughs. “Yeah bro you’re right. I just really need to get into the program so I can help my family.”

Zayn shuts his mouth over a comeback, Louis’s honesty shocking him. An awkward silence falls between them before Zayn nods. “I’ll help you. With potions.”

“Really?” Louis bounces, grinning a bit, before catching himself. “I mean, you really don’t have to.”

Zayn shrugs, finally stepping forward to pull Louis’ cauldron off the fire. “It’s really for the safety of the school, bro. You’re always blowing shit up.” Louis doesn’t look remotely offended by that statement. He just steps forward to help Zayn start packing up.

“Rule number one,” Zayn says as he casts a quick _scorfigy_ at the cauldron. “Try not to brew outside of the dungeons. The rooms down there are climate controlled and these ones aren’t.”

“Which means…” Louis prompts, shoving some ingredients in his bag.

“Which means that the potion can stay stable if the weather changes all of a sudden,” Zayn finishes, turning to look at Louis. Louis meets his eyes and freezes.

“Bro, did you know-“ Louis starts.

“That my eyes are a weird color?” Zayn grumbles, glaring at the wall just past Louis as if it was the cause for all his pain. “Yeah bro, I’m aware. It’s from a stupid spell that Niall cast. It shows my emotions.”

“Huh,” Louis says, looking lost in thought. He shakes himself from it quickly. “So what does red mean?”

Zayn shrugs. “We haven’t figured that one out. Orange is anger, so red is probably annoyance or something.” Which actually makes a lot of sense, Zayn thinks. He’ll have to tell Niall.

Louis narrows his eyes. “What do you have to be annoyed about?”

Zayn laughs humorlessly as they walk out of the classroom, gently closing the door behind them. “Besides the fact that my emotions are all on display to the world? Probably my recent hair loss.”

Louis flips him off as he heads to Gryffindor tower. Zayn laughs, quietly, before turning the opposite direction. He hopes he didn’t miss all of dinner.

*

“I’ve figured out what you’ve been doing, Zayn,” Harry smirks, sitting down next to Niall. The Ravenclaw table is so used to Harry’s presence that no one even blinks at his yellow tie. Niall, however, reaches over and tugs on it lightly before chucking a bread roll at Harry’s head. Zayn has no idea how Niall manages to flirt with anyone.

Making sure to keep his voice casual, Zayn lifts his head from where he was reading the _Daily Prophet_. “What is it, exactly, that I’ve been doing?”

Harry giggles, which sets Niall off. “You’ve been doing something, all right,” Harry practically purrs, suggestively. Niall starts laughing hard enough that the fourth years next to them inch further away, eyeing Niall warily.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Haven’t got a boyfriend mate,” he grumbles, yanking the _Prophet_ back open. “Niall, shut up. It really wasn’t that funny.” Niall reaches across the table and steals his pumpkin juice in retaliation.

“Seriously, though,” Harry leans forward. “Even you’ve got to admit, Zee, that you’ve been sneaking away quite a lot this past week.”

“It’s none of your business, babe,” Zayn points out, looking up from his paper. Niall’s looking at Zayn contemplatively, his eyes flipping between white and gold.

Harry sighs, looking at Zayn like he just lost his house 500 points. “I just want you to be happy,” Harry whines.

“I know, Haz,” Zayn smiles at him. “I’m working on it.”

Harry perks up at that, grin spreading across his face. “I know I’d get your eyes to go gold! Niall-“ Harry pokes Niall in the side excitedly. “Niall, I told you I’d get Zayn’s eyes to go gold.” Zayn just rolls his eyes.

“Good job, Haz,” Niall smiles, looking fondly at Harry. Harry, too busy buttering his roll, missed how Niall’s eyes flickered, very briefly, from gold to red.

Zayn found that odd; Niall’s never annoyed at Harry.

*

Three hours later, Zayn is questioning both his life and his choices as he brushes ash out of his hair for the second time in as many days.

“You know,” Louis starts, poking delicately at the melted puddle that used to be his cauldron, “I think I’m getting better.” He looks up at Zayn with a faux-innocent look. Zayn just manages to hold back his laughter at Louis’ smudged face and his bright, wide-eyed expression. Louis had very bright eyes, Zayn notices.

Shaking his head, not quite on accident, and causing more ash to fly into Louis’ face, Zayn just sighs. He lifts an eyebrow as he sits back in his seat, his eyes most likely bright red.

Louis chuckles, turning towards the table and dropping his innocent face as he starts poking at his melted cauldron with his wand. “Did you know that your eyes start to go more orange the more I annoy you?”

Zayn shrugs, waving his wand lazily at the cauldron so it starts to reform. “That would make sense. Orange means anger, anyway.”

Louis scowls down at his growing cauldron. “I could have done that, why are you always fixing things before I can?” His gaze turns to glare up at Zayn.

A week ago, before Zayn started spending the majority of his free time guiding Louis through making NEWT level potions, that question would have caused Zayn to throw an equally charged response back. But doing all that fighting over a week is exhausting, so Zayn just lets out a breath and shrugs.  “I fix things because I’m good at it.”

“Wow mate, you’re so modest, really,” Louis rolls his eyes and starts sorting his ingredients for his next attempt.

“No bro, it’s not me bragging,” Zayn explains. “It’s from something Harry taught me.”

 “Please tell me it’s not from one his endless rambles about our connections to the earth through our magic,” Louis groans, longsuffering.

Zayn snorts at that. “Nah, it was actually one of the first things he said to me. I was shit at Care of Magical Creatures in third year and managed to get bit by a niffler.”

Louis laughs at that. “Nifflers are the nicest things ever, how the fuck did you even manage that, it makes no sense.”

Zayn nods, agreeing. “Yeah, I know bro. But anyway Haz had managed to get it off of me and I sort of groaned about how crap I was and Haz was like ‘I can care for creatures because I’m good at it, but you know everything about transfiguration because you’re good at that.’ Which, at the time, I wanted to be a research transfigurer, so it was nice to hear.” Zayn runs his hand through his hair. “But it made sense, you know, to just do what you’re good at and not stress about what you couldn’t do.”

Looking up, Zayn catches Louis’ eye. He looks, not sad exactly, but resigned. Before Zayn can say anything, though, Louis turns back to the cauldron.

“Did you know your eyes go gold whenever you talk about Harry?” Louis points out. Zayn stands up and moves besides him, catching the pummel that Louis chucks at him and starts crushing bay leaves.

“What can I say? It’s Harry; I can’t help but feel happy when I think about him,” Zayn says. He sneaks a look at Louis’ face, but it gives nothing away.

“I think it might be illegal to hate Harry,” Louis agrees. They settle into companionable silence, Zayn quietly correcting Louis every few minutes but not as often as before.

Louis had been right earlier, Zayn thinks. He is getting better.

*

A few days later finds Zayn back in the same classroom minus the explosions.

“Bro, you might actually be getting better,” Zayn says after Louis successfully pours his healing potion into a beaker for Professor Watson to look over.

Louis scoffs. “Of fucking course I am, I am the fucking best.”

Louis, Zayn has realized, swears more often when he’s trying to convince you of something. In response, Zayn just raises an eyebrow skeptically.

Deflating a bit, Louis looks down at the full beaker in his hands. “Actually, I couldn’t have done this without you,” he murmurs.

Zayn shakes his head. “Nah bro, you’d have pulled through. You were determined to figure potions out somehow, I just helped that along.”

Louis looks up, a rare genuine smile on his face. “Your eyes are gold and everything… You’re happy for me! You can’t take that back!” Louis’ smile grows.

“Nah bro, I wouldn’t want to take it back.” Zayn grins, feeling his eyes go crinkly in what Niall calls his sunshine smile. “Can I ask you a question, though?”

“As long as you don’t ask me to sneak you into the Gryffindor common room, yes,” Louis jokes.

Zayn rolls his eyes at the joke. “Why were you so determined to get better at potions? In class it just seems like you were fucking about.”

Louis’ face drops a bit, his smile disappearing. “I need to pass it to be an auror.”

After a few moments, Zayn realizes that Louis isn’t going to say anything else. “That’s it? I mean, yeah bro, being an auror is a great cause and all but it just doesn’t… fit.”

Louis just shrugs. “I need to be an auror because I need to get into the ministry and there’s no other department that’s remotely interesting.”

Despite how obviously uncomfortable this topic of conversation is for Louis, Zayn pushes on. “What’s so important about being at the ministry?”

Louis is silent for a long moment. “They have this program for families that don’t have much but you have to be an employee to get it. And I need to support my family.”

With that, Louis gathers up all of his supplies and leaves Zayn in the classroom, wondering where he went wrong.

*

Zayn’s surprised when Louis shows up in the classroom the next night, a determined look on his face.

“Hey bro,” Zayn says quietly, carefully.

Louis just nods back in acknowledgement, starting to unload his bag and enlarge his cauldron.

Zayn watches him for a minute or two before the awkward silence gets to be too much for him. “I’m sorry about last night,” he blurts out. Louis looks up in surprise, like he didn’t expect Zayn to mention it. “I kept pushing you and that wasn’t cool.”

A smile spreads across Louis’s face. “Nah, it’s all right bro, it was only the truth after all. You were just curious.”

Zayn smiles back, nodding. “I mean, I know I shouldn’t have pushed it or anything, but I gotta say that I think you’re lucky that you know what you want to do, at least. You know, after Hogwarts.”

Louis looks up from where he was organizing his ingredients, just like Zayn had taught him. “You don’t know what you want to do?”

Zayn shakes his head, reaching over to help. “I have no idea, bro. There isn’t one thing that I can think of that I’d like to do for the rest of my life.”

Louis turns and stares at him. “Bro, you’ve got like the best marks of our entire year. And you have no plans after Hogwarts. What the hell?”

Zayn turns to glare at him. “You know I haven’t thought about that? My parents are on my fucking case about getting a job and I dunno… I just want to chill for a little while, ya know? Maybe get a cat or something.”

Louis gives him an incredulous look, but says “well Zee, if that’s what you want, then that’s what you should do.”

Zayn looks up at him, surprised at Louis’s genuine words. “Thanks, Lou. Means a lot.”

Louis smiles back, before turning to start the fire below the cauldron.

*

The next day in potions, Louis doesn’t blow one thing up and Zayn cannot stop smiling. These two things are in no way connected, Zayn swears. Niall can shove it.

“Just saying, bro, it’s really weird that your mood depends entirely on if Louis can make a potion or not,” Niall points out as they walk up from the dungeons.

Zayn gives Niall a look. “My mood does not depend on Louis’s potion making skills.”

Niall nods agreeably. “If you say so.”

They walk in silence for a bit.

Did you know that you can force what color your eyes show? Niall says suddenly.

Zayn looks up, surprised. “How do you do that?”

Niall shrugs. “It’s easy. You’re never truly feeling one emotion, so just focus on another one instead.”

“So, like, if you’re upset about something, you can focus on the anger and then sadness won’t show in your eyes?” Zayn questions, trying to make sure he understands. Niall nods.

“Maybe next potions class we can practice it, depending on how well Louis makes his potion,” Niall says, grinning at Zayn.

“Oh, fuck off,” Zayn groans.

*

Its two sessions later with Louis when Zayn finally works up the courage to ask him about it. Zayn’s stirring the potion for Louis while he cuts up beetle shells and Zayn can see his whole face reflected back on the potion’s mirrored surface, his red eyes shining bright.

“Do you ever thing about that time in fifth year?” Zayn asks Louis, interrupting Louis’s story about the party that Liam threw after Gryffindor won the last quidditch match.

Louis doesn’t look up from his ingredient cutting when answering “what time?”

Zayn’s eyes start flashing in confusion. “You know bro, that time we… ya know.”

“No idea what you’re talking about bro,” Louis replies calmly.

Zayn watches as his eyes start to fade orange. “Fuck, are you going to make me spill out bro?”

Louis looks up, catching Zayn’s gaze quickly before looking away again. “I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That time we got drunk and fucking made out, bro, that’s what I’m talking about,” Zayn spits out, eyes burning orange in anger.

Louis looks up, shock flashing in his eyes before they settles into a blank stare. “That didn’t meaning anything, it was just fun right?”

Zayn pulls away from Louis’s gaze and watches his eye go blue. “Yeah bro, whatever, it was just fun.” He stands up and passes the stirrer to Louis. “I gotta go.”

“Wait,” Louis calls after him, but Zayn grabs his bag and is gone.

It’s not like Zayn expected Louis to acknowledge that it meant anything, but fuck does it hurt to hear him write off their kiss like it was nothing.

*

“It’s just, I tried so hard, ya know?” Zayn whines, sprawled out on top of Niall with a joint in hand. “He was doing so well, too, like, he had actually finished a potion, ya know?”

Niall nods as seriously as he can while wearing a replica sorting hat. “I know, mate, I know, you worked so hard.” He pets Zayn’s head absently.

“But he didn’t even remember Niall, why didn’t he remember?” Zayn takes a drag of the joint, carefully blowing the smoke away from Niall’s face.

Niall looks down at him, eyes tinted blue with sadness as he sees Zayn’s face. “I mean, it was two years ago and you were both drunk of your arses,” Niall explains sensibly. Zayn doesn’t like that Niall is making sense. He pokes Niall in the cheek to show his annoyance about the sense-making.

“I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about,” Harry says happily from the couch across from Niall and Zayn. “You don’t have to explain it to me or anything, I just felt you should know.”

Niall sighs, his eyes flickering back to gold as he catches Harry’s gaze. “Back in fifth year Zayn snogged Louis at an end o’ year party, but Louis never talked to him after so that’s why Zayn hates him so much. But then Zayn started tutoring Louis secretly in potions so that Louis would stop blowing shit up and that’s where Zayn’s been disappearing to. But then Zayn brought up how they snogged and Louis freaked and left and now Zayn is sad.”

“Oh,” Harry says. He tips over to lie down sideways on his couch. “A lot of things suddenly make a lot of sense.” Niall chuckles at that. Zayn just groans. They sit in silence for a while, Harry mulling over what Niall said, Niall trying to get his fake sorting hat to talk, and Zayn questioning all the choices he made to get to this point.

“You know,” Harry says eventually, “Louis’s had a thing for you for ages. He just thinks you hate him.”

Zayn sits up suddenly at that and looks closely at Harry as if he had just told Zayn that magic wasn’t real.

“How the fuck could he think that!” Zayn questions, somewhat hysterically. “I’ve been helping him with potions!”

Niall pats his arm consolingly. “Zee, to him, that’s only one month of you tolerating him after 2 years of hatred.”

Zayn turns and glares at Niall. “Stop making sense, I don’t like it.” He pokes Niall again. Niall just shrugs. “Anyway,” Zayn continues, “there’s no way that Louis likes me like that. He said that our, you know, was just fun.” Zayn sinks back in the cushions, remembering the completely blank face Louis wore when uttering that stupid sentence.

“Babe,” Harry says gently, “He’s probably just scared. You’re not exactly friendly at first, Zee.” Harry shrugs at the glare Zayn sends his way. “I love you, but you know it’s true.”

“But… Louis…” Zayn trails off, remembering how sometimes he’d catch Louis looking at him like Zayn was candy at Honeydukes and Louis had no way of getting any. How sometimes Louis would grab the stirring stick at the same time as Zayn and their hands would brush and Louis would go silent for a moment before loudly blustering about some adventure he had recently had with Liam.

“Zayn,” Niall drags him out of his thoughts. “What were you just thinking about?”

“Nothing,” Zayn says defensively.

Niall shakes his head. “No, you were thinking about Louis, weren’t you?” Zayn feels himself blush, giving Niall an answer.

Gently, Niall grabs Zayn’s hand. “Your eyes went red when you thought of Louis, Zayn.”

“So?” Zayn shrugs. “Red is annoyance right? I’m definitely annoyed right now.”

Niall shakes his head again. “No, mate. Red isn’t annoyance. Red is love.”

Zayn starts shaking his head. “No way, no way. Bullshit. There is no way you know that.”

Niall smiles down at Zayn, but he catches a flicker of black fear cross Niall’s eyes. “Trust me, Zee. I know.”

“Prove it,” Zayn spits out. There is no way this is happening right now.

“Fuck,” Niall says quietly. “Fine, Zayn. Just – Fine.” Niall turns to look at Harry and Zayn sucks in a gasp, realizing what’s happening.

Harry meets Niall’s gaze, confusion coloring his face but still smiling. “You pretending I’m Professor Longbottom, your one true love?”

“Nah,” Niall smiles easily at Harry as his eyes fade from gold to bright, shining red. “I’m thinking of you.”

“But,” Harry starts, “You just said red means love, so…” Harry trails off as Niall stands up and moves over to his couch.

Nodding, Niall grabs Harry’s hand. “Yeah, Haz, red means love. Tell me to fuck off if you want, but it’s true.”

Harry doesn’t tell Niall to fuck off. He kisses him instead.

Fuck, Zayn thinks.

*

Zayn takes to the newfound knowledge that he loves Louis Tomlinson the way that anyone would deal with that information: he gets extremely high, sleeps for twelve hours, and ignores Harry and Niall’s attempts to talk about it. Zayn doesn’t even know what he would say, really. He loves Louis, but everything else is still a mess.

How did he miss it, though? It should have been so obvious. Zayn’s eyes were always fucking red around Louis and he _knew_ that he wasn’t annoyed. Maybe Zayn didn’t miss it. Maybe he just didn’t want to deal with it.

Zayn escapes from Harry and Niall’s love bubble out onto the grounds late that night, a book in hand to calm him down. Zayn doesn’t plan on ignoring whatever it is between him and Louis forever, but he’s giving himself one night, all right, because his life has become a shit show ever since Niall cast that stupid spell.

Halfway through chapter three, Zayn nearly gets run over by some idiot on a broomstick.

“What the actual fuck,” Zayn growls, turning to shout at the rider, “Are you actually trying to be a dick or does it just come naturally?” Zayn shoots out as the rider turns back to meet Zayn’s eyes.

“Sorry, mate,” Louis shoots at him sarcastically. “I guess I just am that much of a dick. At least I don’t ignore someone for days.”

Zayn just stares at him, unable to say anything. Louis is hovering right there, so close that Zayn could reach out and touch him if he could get his body to start working again.

“You know, fuck you Zayn,” Louis spits out, his eyes flaming in anger but his voice just sounding hurt. “All I do is try to be nice around you and you’re always fucking annoyed with me. Your eyes have been fucking red this entire fucking month when I’m near you and I haven’t even done anything!”

Zayn goes completely still, just stares at Louis hopelessly. He can’t get the words out.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Louis says, sounding resigned. Like he knew that Zayn would never disagree with what he just said. Zayn shakes himself and pulls himself up, ready to prove him wrong.

“Lou –“ Zayn starts.

But Louis just flies away.

*

Zayn’s sitting at the Ravenclaw table at dinner, a few nights later, poking dejectedly at his food. Harry and Niall had kept trying to get him to go talk to Louis, but Zayn knew better. He knew that Louis, even if he did listen to Zayn, would never forgive Zayn for ignoring him. He’d probably also accuse Louis of lying if he brought up the real meaning of red eyes, so really, Zayn was just saving himself even more heartbreak. Harry had told him was an idiot, but Harry was still so wrapped up in Niall that Zayn didn’t think his judgment was very clear right now.

Zayn is suddenly knocked sideways by that curly haired Hufflepuff. Before Zayn can say anything, Harry steals his roll and shouts as he runs away “Don’t kill me, I didn’t mean to tell him!”

Zayn watches Harry run out of the Great Hall, before turning back and catching the eye of the sixth year across the table. She stares back at him, looking just as confused as Zayn feels.

“Zayn, you DICK!” Zayn hears just as he settles back into his dinner. Turning, in shock, Zayn sees Louis stomping over to him from the Gryffindor table. Zayn stares at him, catching his gaze just at Louis pulls to a stop in front of him.

“What-“ Zayn starts.

“Did you know,” Louis starts, his voice as cold as ice, “That Harry just told me that he loves when Niall’s eyes go red around him and that he’s sad you two are getting the antidote next week?”

Swallowing, Zayn shakes his head nervously, dropping his eyes away from Louis’s bright ones.

“Do you know what red eyes mean, Zayn?” Louis asks, his voice still ice cold.

Slowly, Zayn nods.

“And what do red eyes mean, Zayn?” Louis follows up, his voice getting louder with each word.

Zayn looks up, catches Louis’s eyes, and sees behind the anger in them a sliver of hope.

“It means love, Lou. It’s love.” Zayn smiles hesitantly.

“Well fuck you, bro!” Louis shouts, pushing into Zayn’s space.

Angrily, Zayn stands up and pushes back into Louis’s space until their faces are only inches apart. “Fuck you, bro! It’s not like I can control that I’m in love with you! I’ll just fucking try to stop now, does that make you happy?!”

Louis deflates, shock coloring his face. Zayn shakes his head and turns around, ready to sit down and bury his broken heart in some pudding.

From behind him he hears a quiet “but I don’t want you to stop.”

Zayn turns back quickly, grabbing Louis’s wrist almost unconsciously. “You just told me to fuck off, multiple times,” Zayn says somewhat hysterically.

Louis shrugs. “I was angry that you didn’t tell me. I’ve been in love with you for years, you know.” Zayn sucks in a breath at that. “But I thought I’d never be able to do anything about it and then your eyes were always red around me which I thought meant you were annoyed at me all the time-“ Louis cuts himself off and laughs. “Guess I was wrong about that, huh bro?”

Zayn nods. “Oops.” And then he pulls Louis in.

Niall, from three seats down, starts throwing bread at them when their snogging goes past the five minute mark.

*

“Now, I am required to tell you that there are some small side effects to this antidote potion,” Professor Watson says off hand as she pours Niall and Zayn two glasses of silvery liquid. “But I am not required to tell you what they are if they aren’t harmful, so I’m going to let you two figure out what it is. Don’t worry,” She adds when she sees Zayn’s horrified face, “It wears off after about a week.”

Niall chuckles. “It’s all right, Professor, I think after this month Zayn n’ I can handle anything.” With that, he grabs the glass of potion and downs in two gulps.

Professor Watson just raises her eyebrow at him, before walking out of the classroom. Zayn looks at Niall, who shrugs as his eyes slowly fade back to their natural blue. Zayn shrugs back and drinks his antidote, before vanishing the two glasses.

Outside of the classroom, Harry and Louis are amusing themselves while waiting by changing the colors of the stones in the wall to spell out rude words. Niall shakes his head, before grabbing Harry from behind and cuddling down into him.

Louis looks at the two of them before turning to Zayn. “Please tell me we will never be that gross.”

“We will never be that gross,” Zayn parrots back, wiggling his eyebrows at Louis. Louis cackles and pushes Zayn against the wall, trapping him there before latching onto Zayn’s neck. Even after just a week, Zayn knows that Louis is leaving a massive love bite that he’ll have to cover up for days. Still, Zayn just tilts his head to give Louis more access, his hands grabbing Louis’s waist to hold him tight.

“Um, Zayn?” Harry says tentatively from across the hallway. Opening his eyes, Zayn sees that Niall is doubled over in laughter while Harry valiantly tries to hold his own chuckles in.

“Yes, Haz?” Zayn says a little breathlessly as Louis switches sides of Zayn’s neck. He really has no shame.

“Did you know your hair just turned bright red?” Harry asks gently.

Ripping himself off, Louis looks up at Zayn and starts laughing. “Oh my god, babe, Haz is right.” Zayn reaches up and clutches his hair, as if that will stop the color changing.

Niall reigns in his laughter just long enough to say. “Zee, I think the antidote’s side effect makes our hair turn bright red when we’re turned on.”

Louis cackles, turning to catch Zayn’s eyes. Louis’s are gleaming with mischief. “Oh, this is going to be so much fun,” he says into Zayn’s ear before biting down.

“Oh look,” he hears Harry say distantly, “It works on you too, Niall.”

Zayn wonders again about his life and his choices. But then Louis tilts his head up to kiss him and Zayn figures he must have done something right.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> I can be found on tumblr at emhawkily.tumblr.com if you wanna come say hello there as well.


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